Several indie bands gathered during the week to discuss the formation and policies of a coalition of musicians (which has not yet been named) intending to make music better. Members of the coalition, including bands such as The Arcade Fire and Radiohead (which the music community feels isn't technically indie, but retains the irritating indie rock sound), deliberated such topics as new distribution methods, minimum requirements for lo-fi effects, their official position on file sharing, and conditions of a promise to be "less annoying."
Several accounts by band members in attendance indicate that the coalition and its policies were made official, but not without hours of arguing. Connor Oberst, of Bright Eyes, is said to have thrown a clock at Thom Yorke and left the meeting after the group refused to remove a policy about limiting alcohol consumption. With Oberst gone, however, the coalition deemed the restriction "unnecessary."
The alliance consists of, as of yet, only little known indie rockers, with the exception of Radiohead, who threatened to leave over a clause inhibiting onstage dancing. They plan, however, to open the coalition to other indie genres after they convene one more time to determine if "indie hip-hop" is a legitimate form of music.
Many fans of indie wonder how the bands are going to keep a strange balance between not sounding annoying and also not sounding too mainstream. After all, the staple of indie musicians, and the indicator of their success, is considered by Isaac Brock, front man of Modest Mouse (not invited to the meeting) to be the artist's ability to "irritate the hell out of normal people." The Arcade Fire's frontman, while tuning his tambourine, responds to fears with a cryptic, "It's going to be hard, you know?"
(for the record, this is satire.)